Grey

It was an early January morning. It was cold for Mumbai, and the sense of tragedy looming around her made her feel colder still.

She reached the train station by about 7 am and boarded a train going downtown. The compartment was almost empty, only two other women shared in her solitude. She stood near the doorway, leaning out into the early morning air. Its freshness cleared her head, but the coldness pierced her skin and deepened the wounds already in her heart. The reality of her current state seeped in through the holes left behind and tears began to stream down her cheeks. She didn’t stop them, she didn’t even really seem to notice them, or anything else for that matter. One of the women tried to speak to her, to calm her and console her, but she wouldn’t respond. Eventually the sobs stopped and the tears dried up along with her co-passenger’s sympathy. By the time she finally got out of the train, she was perfectly composed.
Nothing much about her stood out in the crowd that swept her out of the station. She was dressed in a simple black shirt and jeans, carried a brown bag and black shoes. Her hair was pulled back into a ponytail, revealing the only distinctive thing about her, her blood red eyes and tear stained face.

As she walked on and on, the platform seemed never-ending to her. She felt the crowd around her was like a fog, it seemed thick at a distance but the closer she got, the less people were near her, the more she tried to reach out to someone, the more easily they slipped away. It was just like her life had become the past few days, there were so many people around, but she was still all alone.

She walked on, out of the station and up a slope, straight for a while and then down the other side of the slope and finally reached a set of intricate, black wrought iron gates. As she walked in, angels perched on the headstones of people who had long since departed our world greeted her, and seemed to guide her along her way. Before long, she arrived at her destination.

The priest stood there waiting for her, his hands clasped demurely together in front of him. He gave her a sad smile as she came nearer, and gestured towards the coffin behind him.

Her tears were by then exhausted and so was she. Her last goodbye was just a simple kiss and a silent prayer. She brushed the hair off the forehead of the man she had so much loved, as she had done many times in his life. She could not believe this was the last time she would be doing it. She stepped away slowly and the priest closed the coffin lid. After looking around and ascertaining that no one else was coming, he began his service. It was a short service that the deceased’s wife and a few stray birds listened to inattentively. A single rose was thrown onto the coffin as it was lowered into the ground. As she watched the petals disappear under the mud, she couldn’t help but notice that they were as red as the blood that had flowed from the wound that had killed her husband.

The sun was halfway up in the sky when the priest left her. It was then in that deserted cemetery that she truly realized how alone she was. He was all that she had had; he was her love, her life. The sun was fully up in the sky before she moved again. She began to walk away slowly and turned back to say one final goodbye. That was when she finally saw him. He was standing a few rows beyond his grave and staring intently at an old, collapsing gravestone. Before she even knew what she was doing, her legs had automatically begun moving towards him.

She stopped under a tree, a few feet away from him. It was bare of leaves having shed them the previous autumn, but it was covered in the most beautiful and delicate little white flowers that she had ever seen. It looked exactly like her husband standing in front of her then, so alive and yet so dead all at the same time.

He walked towards her and she froze. He tried to touch her but she didn’t feel him. He spoke to her, but she couldn’t hear a word he said. Finally he went back to the gravestone he had been staring at, ran his finger over a line on it. Then he looked back at her, smiled and slowly walked away, disappearing into the distance. She went to the headstone and read it and she immediately understood.

A month later a new headstone was put up over a combined gravesite. ‘Mr. and Mrs. ‘ it read, ‘January 1st 2011 and January 15th 2011. He died in a tragic accident and she died a few weeks later of a broken heart.’ It was similar to an epitaph that was written on a crumbling gravestone a few rows away.

All Alone

Tired and wet we all emerge
Dripping in blood and dripping in sweat
They clean us up
They rub us down
We do as they say
Or upon us they frown
We bend, and twist and we conform
We follow all of society’s norms
Until we’re broken, beaten and torn.
Our hearts were once soft and tender and warm
They grow cold as ice as we live our lives
Sooner or later they turn to stone
And yet we pretend we are not alone.
We act as though we love each other
The reality is we love ourselves
Not out mother, father or brother
We’re selfish people through and through
Who live in our full but empty homes
But we’ll die dark and slowly
All alone…

I was actually looking at my computer today and I realised every component is a different company. LG monitor (new 18.5″ LCD ), Intex CPU, 2JBL speakers, 2 Creative speakers (4 speakers are awesome btw!!), HP keyboard and Printer/Scanner, Logitech mouse and webcam, Intel Processor. I think that covers all the major brands Somehow that doesn’t seem as amusing as it did 5 minutes ago

Anyway to make up for that total waste of time, a creation of mine The PGM motors 005

Anyway I figured I may as well just post today. Not that I really have anything in particular to say I’ve had a relatively boring week. The first half was pretty routine, College, MAAC, home, nothing special really.

Then came Friday. I was running late as it is, and it was raining. Windcheaters have to be the most useless form of protection against the rain cause even with mine on, I was wet. Even my top which was under the windcheater. My jeans were soaked through… Though that was partially cause when I was about 2 mins from the station and not tottaly drenched, this crazy man walking past me kicks water onto me and then runs off… And trains always get messed up on the first heavy-ish day of the rains so I figured, may as well take a fast train. Instead of taking the usual 12-15 minutes, it takes 50 mins, since it moves slowly for 2 mins, stops for 10. Highly annoying Add that to the fact that you’re drenched, standing up and have crazy women nudging you in the ribs, its not a lot of fun.

So eventually I reach college and enter my first lecture 5 minutes before it finishes and see none of my friends in class. Turns out they all skipped it and were hanging out in the canteen planning to go for a movie which we end up watching by bunking the remaining 3 lectures We went to Sterling for ‘The Hangover’. Its probably one of the funniest movies I have ever seen And they actually shot it without any retakes which is truly truly shocking!! And awesome

So eventually we all have to head back to college for an honours lecture and end up getting even more wet. The lecture gets cancelled because the two major geeks in our class didn’t stay back for it So I get to head home, have a nice hot bath and relax.

I love the rains They just make everything seem so much nicer. All the buildings look cleaner, the trees and plants look fresher, the dog goes hyper And who doesn’t like just taking a walk in the rains and finally coming home and having somethin hot to eat. Its just heaven
And I think I’ve babbled enough for one afternoon. I’ll probably be doing more of this from now on

One desert bg plus some monuments = my new matte painting

If You’re Happy

If you’re happy, you won’t know it,

When you’re sad, you can’t show it,

You’re depressed and you feel lonely,

You think you’re dying slowly,

You feel the world is out to get you,

You wouldn’t if I hadn’t met you,

But you came into my life and turned it all upside down,

You made me feel like a princess,

But then you stole my crown.

And now I’m catching up to you, so baby, don’t you frown,

You knew I would come calling,

So come on, quit your stalling,

And try to be a man, once in your life.

If you’re happy, you won’t know it,

I’ll make sure that you can’t show it,

You’re depressed, you think you’re lonely,

But babe, I’m only killing you slowly.

And fortunately, there’s plenty life left in you

I’ll take my time, I’ll wear you down,

I’ll grind your hopes into the ground,

I’ll destroy you completely before I’m through.

Yeah you know I’m coming to get you soon,

Where you gonna hide cause there ain’t no shuttle to the moon.

You knew I would come calling,

So come on, quit your stalling,

And face me like a man, once in your life.

If you’re happy, you don’t look it,

If you are, well I’m over it,

Your breath just sounds so shallow,

Your eyes are sunk deep in their hollows,

You’re dying so very slowly,

No creature deserves a death so lowly,

But then no creature could ever compare to you.

Your chest heaves, you cough, you scream

But only I hear you breathe your last,

And watch you slip into an unending dream

Of the days, the nights, the life, that past,

The glorious days, the steamy nights,

The stolen kisses, the freakish frights,

The torture that was your last fortnight.

Yeah now that I think about it,

You probably were happy,

But I no longer care, as you can see.

And heres to John Lennon, born today some 68 years ago, he was probably one of the greatest musicians the world has ever or will ever see, at least I think so And hopefully he will still be singing, writing and spreading peace, where ever he is now

I turned this:

Into this: